Women

Well I missed the Mela, again, and the mass bikini show on Redcar beach, but not the rain though, couldnt really miss that, it pissed down for ages. Missed a lot to be honest, due to an impending house move (hence the inconsistent posts) and apparently not much is hitting home at the moment, as my significant other assure's me. The fairer sex, there's a contradiction in terms, is anything but....fair to be honest.

Any man that claims to fully understand any woman is a liar, its impossible, it cant be done. Any psychiatrist that claims it is a professional liar. There are so many of the joke emails going around the ether at the moment about the differences between the male and female of the species, we should really pick up on it, someone somewhere is talking from experience.

Why? Its a question that you should never ever ask a woman, she will not answer you. They are beautiful and wonderful and amazing, but so is a tiger, and we all know what would happen if we crossed one them big girls!

I have come to point in my life, where after years of soul searching and self torment, that i will just accept my place beside my significant other (god knows what that means either) and focus solely on the bits that get me through the day, You know what I mean, the Sunday morning lie ins ( which is exempt from any conflict whatsoever so that at least some carnal activity can be maintained) the moments when you are left alone to find inner peace ( Dundee United are on Setanta and theres Carling in the fridge) and any point at which that gorgeous sexy perfectly formed example of pure joy wants you and only you and knows exactly how to take that bad tempered huffy twat and make him do all the nice things that lets face it you want to do to her 24 hours a day anyway!! Well, if you could like, but am sure most of us lads would give a damn good go.

Anyway back home soon to the bosom of my darling in the Boro. Think I'll be nice this time, kinda miss her most of the time. If you miss me, I'll be in bed.